Sunday, March 28, 2010

Thank You

Thank You guys for the overwhelming response..
We shall now take up your queries officially.

Today's Query:

WHY DO I FIGHT WITH MY PARENTS SO MUCH?

By: Riya

Reply by Expert:

eventually, kids grow up and become teens. And part of being a teen is developing your own identity — one that is separate from your parents'. It's totally normal for teens to create their own opinions, thoughts, and values about life; it's what prepares them for adulthood.

But as you change and grow into this new person who makes his or her own decisions, your parents may have a difficult time adjusting. They aren't used to the new you yet — they only know you as the kid who had everything decided for you and didn't mind.

In most families, it's this adjustment that can cause a lot of fighting between teens and parents. You want to cover your walls with posters; they don't understand why you don't like your kiddie wallpaper anymore. You think it's OK to hang at the mall every day after school; they would rather that you play a sport.

Clashes like these are very common between teens and parents — teens get angry because they feel parents don't respect them and aren't giving them space to do what they like, and parents get angry because they aren't used to not being in control or they disagree with the teens' decisions.

It's easy for feelings to get very hurt when there are conflicts like these. And more complicated issues — like the types of friends you have or your attitudes about sex and partying — can cause even bigger arguments, because your parents will always be intent on protecting you and keeping you safe, no matter how old you are.

The Upside

The good news about fighting with your parents is that in many families the arguing will lessen as parents get more comfortable with the idea that their teen has a right to certain opinions and an identity that may be different from theirs. It can take several years for parents and teens to adjust to their new roles, though. In the meantime, concentrate on communicating with your parents as best you can.

Sometimes this can feel impossible — like they just don't see your point of view and never will. But talking and expressing your opinions can help you gain more respect from your parents, and you may be able to reach compromises that make everyone happy. For example, if you are willing to clean your room in order to stay out an hour later, both you and your parents walk away with a good deal.

Keep in mind, too, that your parents were teens once and that in most cases, they can relate to what you're going through.

5 comments:

  1. i agree that these problems often occur in our lives but these can be sorted out by talking to our parents and explaining them our point of view....
    in the end all our parents want is our happiness and our good...

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  2. I agree with Vaishali...

    I many a times realize how small are the issues we fight upon and how easily these fights can be avoided...

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  3. yeah... but do you really think it is so easy to discuss these issues with parents??

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  4. I feel there is a correct way of dealing with such matters...
    if not discussed properly and on time these can lead to a big communication gap between parents and children..

    Author said correctly "talking and expressing your opinions can help you gain more respect from your parents"

    I think of giving it A TRY...

    Wat say??

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  5. i agree with drew....
    i mean instead of just continuing with the fights we can try to just finish them off....
    they are our parents and they understand us more than anyone else in this world...rite???? :):)

    ReplyDelete